Balancing Softness & Growth

It’s a weird thing – trying to balance living a soft life while building your best life.

This is not to say that your best life cannot be a soft life – it most likely is.

Unless you’re in for the hustle – then you probably won’t relate to this message.

But if you’re looking to grow and build in a way that feels grounded, steady, and resilient – then this one is for you.

Why do I assume there needs to be a balance?

We all have moments when we decide to rebrand, adjust, and better our lives. We look straight into our reality and go, “I’m done with this – this needs to change.”

The first reaction of the mind is empowerment. Excitement. Dopamine.

When we are in the “fuck it” phase, everything feels possible. Not only possible – but necessary.

Not only will it happen, but it needs to happen ASAP.

So, we get to planning.

That’s when we hit the first stage of overwhelm: Oh Lord, this is way too much.

Maybe it’s a lot to organize (i.e. you’re creating a full getting-in-shape plan) or one simple thing that just feels too heavy to hold at once – you will “just” quit smoking.

Both are absolutely valid reasons to freak out.

But you stick around:

You’ve had the last cigarette, and you’ve followed through with the fitness plan for two weeks.

You are ON.

Things are finally starting to work out as you like them to.

What happens then?

Energies start moving. Your growth starts expanding and spilling into other parts of your life. Whether you’re in a higher or a slower moment, the vibe is there: something is going on.

You are aware that you’re changing – and moving into a less comfortable, less known, and thus less predictable area.

Again – another valid reason to freak out.

Why?

Because our minds don’t really like unpredictability. In fact, they do everything they can to organize information in a way that maximizes predictability.

And there comes the mental chatter:

"Okay, we are doing this, but where is this going? What’s gonna happen now? Is this working well enough? Am I doing well enough? Is this really happening or am I just in the honeymoon phase? Can I really pull this off? Nah, it’s probably not gonna work. I have no clue what I’m doing. Why did I even start this…”

Whether you've been there or currently are – know that I feel you.

This is not only normal, but a good thing.

It means you’re breaking the old patterns. You are actually creating change.

Now that we have clarified that – let’s get into the actual question:

How do we slow down, soften, and move through change with grace?

Here are five tips on how to balance softness and growth during your journey:

1. Detach Emotionally

This is the most important and yet the hardest part.

Because – how could you possibly detach emotionally from something that you’ve put your heart and soul into?

I hear you. Fully.

I know you actually don’t want to detach. I can guess why.

First, you might think: “If I let go emotionally, it means I don’t care" – the goal loses its value.

Second, maybe it sounds like: “If I’m not fully emotionally attached, I’ll lose motivation" – the goal loses its driving force.

Let's clear those two up now.

First point: you think that, if you release the grip, everything you want will somehow slip through your fingers.

That in order for the goal to matter, you need to constantly show the world - and yourself - how much you care. You feel like you need to pour all your mental energy into it and cling to that goal like your life depends on it.

The reality is that you can still take efficient and regular action and achieve change without investing your entire mind and soul into it.

This is not to say that you shouldn't care about or celebrate your journey.

But again – why do you need to become it? Why can’t you just let it be a project? A phase? Your new lifestyle?

Let it breathe.

Let it be.

Don’t cling.

Don’t obsess.

A goal can turn your life around and still not consume you.

***

Second point: you actually think that if you’re not attached to it with your 100%, then you will not have the motivation to do it.

You think that attachment is your driving force.

That makes total sense, and is actually a smart reaction.

However – that’s not how things actually work.

Yes, you might run on the obsessed energy for quite a while.

Until one day, you won’t.

Motivation is different from dedication.

While motivation can be fueled by attachment, dedication is fueled by value and alignment.

The power of dedication lies in knowing why this change truly matters to you.

Knowing why you need it and what it will bring to your life. Aligning your actions to your values.

To achieve real, lasting dedication – focus on the value, on the why.

You can stay strong in your desire to get that value – and still not lose yourself emotionally in it.

2. Release the Overwhelm Through Movement

This is a short and sweet one. Energies need to move.

Stagnant energy starts to feel heavy sooner or later.

If you are going through changes, give your body a chance to move through the shifts too.

Whatever you choose to do – whether a sweaty workout or a stretch class – just let the body release the tension from everything that’s going on.

Release old energy and renew.

You need this.

Your body needs to process – just like your mind does.

3. Ground Yourself After Big Moments

Some of us are naturally more likely to get overexcited and dysregulated by change – even if it's a good change.

I’m not gonna get into the why in this post, but I’ll tell you that:

Grounding is key.

I know that when you’re in the flow of the moment – the excitement, the rush – the last thing you want to do is to slow down.

Because it often feels like stepping out would kill momentum.

And yes, you do want to enjoy the momentum, not risk destroying it.

I get that.

Yet, the “staying high” is an illusion. You can’t stay high forever.

Each wave reaches its peak and then dissolves into softness.

Let there be waves on your journey.

The slow moment doesn’t mean that you’re losing momentum.

It means you’re flowing.

Let things flow.

Let there be highs and lows and learn to ride along – enjoying both.

If you have reached a high, do celebrate it.

But allow for a moment of reconnection and balance after the peak.

What does this look like?

There’s no musts here, but generally – aim for a moment of solitude and introspection.

Reconnection with yourself.

Silence. Sensuality. Depth.

Create your own rituals.

And you’ll soon find out that even if they feel forced at first – they will do their job.

All you need to do is make time for the grounding moment and let it happen.

4. Take Time to Focus Inwards

This tip is not so much about rituals for slowing down.

Rather – it’s about paying attention. Listening.

Giving voice to whatever it is inside that wants to come out.

This is especially important if you have a busy, distracted daily life.

Things tend to get overlooked.

Signals – missed.

That’s why it’s key to sit with yourself and explore what’s happening within.

This can be journaling, meditation, even a long walk or a moment in nature.

You can find what works for you.

But one thing’s for sure:

That moment feels like coming home.

You know when it’s happening.

You can’t mistake it for anything else.

Aim at that feeling.

5. Return to the Present Moment

Being in the moment is way too huge of a topic – so I will give you a shortcut here, so you can make use of this practice even if it’s new to you.

You have probably felt what it’s like to be fully soaked in the moment.

It’s absolutely purifying.

It’s a “that’s what life’s about” kind of experience.

But not only does it feel great – it is the key to stopping the mental chatter.

And since you’re facing change, there’s probably a lot of that going on.

Worries about the future, old limiting beliefs from the past…all of that is trying to sneak in.

The present moment silences the mental trips to the past and future.

Even in the simplest daily activities – we can take a breath and return to the now.

Release the connection to the other imaginary timelines.

Use the senses to feel:

– Let your eyes focus on your hands.

– Let your ears listen to the sounds around you.

– Feel your body.

– Smell the coffee.

– Breathe into the moment and realize that this simple moment is all there is.

And in that moment – you are fully you.

Present.

Alive.

Safe.

You’re home.

Final Note

These were my five best and favorite tips for strong mental balance during moments of change and growth.

And my final note:

Remember that you’ve got this.

Growth is a good thing – even when you feel lost and all over the place.

That’s how it’s meant to feel.

The tips are not there to “fix you” – but to help you move forward with steadier, more confident steps and a lighter heart.